One Man Force: B Movie Bingo

Cross out the squares as the cinematic insanity unfolds on-screen. Hosted by Wolf Choir.
Jake Swan. Narcotics Detective. 6' 8? – 280 lbs. 21? biceps, 55? chest. Best known for playing Sloth in THE GOONIES (1985). No one enforces the law… like he does!
In ONE MAN FORCE, former NFL bad boy John “Tooz” Matuszak (Los Angeles Raiders, THE GOONIES) plays LAPD detective Jake Swan, who only plays by one set of rules–his own. This is a guy who literally only runs plays out of his own playbook. What a Goonie! If that’s not Goonie material, nothing is! Okay, enough with the football and Goonies references. But still, LORD OF THE RINGS actor and former Goonie Sean Astin would be proud of his dedication to his ideals. And if Sean is proud, it follows that Elijah Wood, Peter Jackson and Gandalf would also be proud. These are all men with high ideals. All would love this movie.
All that aside, when Swan’s partner is killed in a drug bust gone wrong, he vows revenge and quits the force to take things into his own hands, and essentially becomes a one man force. You know–blowing stuff up and throwing people into walls. Much like the Goonies, when assembled, he is truly a force to be reckoned with! The main difference is that the Goonies were kids who used their wits to defeat both “real” crooks and “evil real estate developer” crooks, and Jake Swan is a single behemoth of a man, roughly the size of a pirate ship compared to these kids. We’re looking forward to the GOONIES sequel, which picks up thirty years after the events of the first film. If Sean Astin and Corey Feldman are to be believed, producer Steven Spielberg and director Dick Donner are both on board… but it won’t be the same without “Tooz” swinging from a rope across the bow of a pirate ship! Let’s hope a CGI version of Sloth will be created by Andy Serkis (“Andy! …You Goonie!!!”), or at least some archival footage will come to light. Directed by Dale Trevillion.


Wednesday, June 4