Cross out the squares as the insanity unfolds onscreen!
The year is 1999. In a desolate future world devastated by global warming, Ron Marchini is Special Policeman John Travis. He is OMEGA COP (1990), the last (and thus, the toughest) cop alive. He drives a Jeep, listens to surf music, and lives in a baseball dugout.
While on a routine mission to bust up a sex slave auction run by Wraith and his nasty gang of Scavs, Travis’ team is wiped out. The last man standing, he seeks cover and is able to escape during a solar flare. In this dreary world of tomorrow, solar flares occur without warning, and exposure is known to make people go insane. To make things worse, the insanity is also somehow contagious. As a result, his boss, played by a profusely sweating Adam West, refuses to let him back in the police compound, fearing further infection. Adam West and Ron Marchini appear in no scenes together. West does all his scenes from inside a brown “control room”, which is a shame, because he’s the best actor in the movie.
Travis, now with two scantily clad women in tow, decides to make a run for Montana, where the air is still clean and the water is blue. On the run from some Scavs, they hide out for the night in Travis’ space-age bachelor pad–a baseball dugout with a human skeleton in it.
Other major plot points involve Omega Cop beating up some Scavs who stole his baseball cap (“That’s my hat!”), and a brief appearance by Stuart Whitman as the Omega Doctor. Troy Donahue also has a short scene as the father of one of the women, but gets shot in the heart and dies.
It’s hard to know what to say about this one–you just have to see it to believe it. What other movie can you think of that begins with a doomsday warning voiceover from Adam West and then goes straight to faux surf music over the credits? Directed by Paul Kyriazi, creator of “Live the James Bond Lifestyle” seminar.
B-MOVIE BINGO is a game that is exactly like it sounds — OR MORE. It’s simple–we play bingo to the most awesome movie cliches ever committed to celluloid, like: “LONG BORING SCENE OR MALE PONY TALE”, “TEAMED UP WITH ROOKIE OR ANIMAL”, and “WHITE SUIT OR TROPICAL ENDING”. For maybe the first time in a theatre, see the relatives and employees of A-list actors you know and love like Sylvester Stallone, whose brother bears a remarkable resemblance to him. Compete for prizes! Yell at your fellow movie nerds over the elusive and mysterious “BLANK SQUARE”! Relax: it’s B-MOVIE BINGO.